How to photograph 'difficult' children
/First off - there’s no such thing as a difficult child. Equally, there’s not one reason why a child doesn't want to be photographed. Therefore I have a variety of tips and tricks for photographing ‘difficult’ children.
The two key issues to consider are the child’s age and their personality.
For example, something that makes one child laugh might scare another child.
And a bit of slapstick might amuse a younger child but a teenager might just roll their eyes.
So let’s dive into a few of the techniques I use for different circumstances…
Time
One of the key ingredients for getting beautiful family photographs is ‘time’. Sometimes a session can be quick and wrapped up in 45 minutes; but other times it takes a while for shy children to warm up and develop trust. I once spent 15 minutes rolling down a hill with a child before I took any photographs. They were in a bad mood and didn’t want to be photographed so I had to do what they wanted first and once we’d make friends and developed trust I was able to take photographs easily.
I don’t put time limits on my sessions which is why I can offer my unique money-back guarantee. I always say it’s not a matter of ‘if’ I get the shots, but ‘when’. The longest it ever takes is 2 hours so don’t panic - we won’t have to pitch a tent!
Work with nature, not against it
Bear Grylls always says work with nature and not against it and the same can be said with children. If a child doesn’t want to sit on mummy’s lap then try daddy’s shoulders. If he doesn’t like that either and wants to play on his own then let’s photograph him alone come back to the family shot.
Children are fickle. Last week I had a child screaming ‘I want to go home’ one minute and then a few seconds later she was laughing and dancing. As the adults we have to be flexible and patient. Forcing a child to do anything on a photoshoot never works. Even bribes rarely work effectively - they just give you fake smiles and reinforce the belief that a photoshoot is a chore and not a pleasure.
My goal is to make it feel like a family playdate where the child is the boss. As long as they’re safe I let them lead things. Once they’re having fun it’s so much easier to get them to do what we want. But again, I don’t make it sound like they’re doing me a favour. So I don’t say if you do X then you can do Y later. It only gets grudging obedience. We have to make what we want sound fun too! So I don’t say ‘Can you give mummy a kiss’, I’d say ‘Give mummy a big old slobbery kiss’ or ‘if you suck on mummy’s cheek do you think you can suck her eyeballs out!?’
Distraction and redirection
If a child is upset (perhaps they fell over) then I’ll do something to distract them like falling over myself. They’re so shocked to see an adult fall over that they laugh and forget they were upset. It works so well I generally have to keep pretending to fall over for the rest of the session because they find it hilarious when I ‘hurt’ myself!
We never want the child to feel like we’re trying to get them to do something. It’s not them vs us.
They’re cunning and they can sense it when we sound desperate and they dig their heels in!
Instead, we do what they want for a bit and then we suggest something that we want to do in a way that sounds fun to them.
‘Moody’ teenagers
We’ve all been teenagers so let’s think back to what it was like for many of us…
Teenagers get told what to do and don’t often get to have an opinion. And they often don’t feel good enough, smart enough or good looking enough.
So my approach is to give them back the power. I talk to them like adults and ask them what they’re into. If they like sports then we might be able to incorporate that into the photoshoot. If they’re into music then I’ll ask them what their own personal album cover would look like if they were a star. I also try and get them away from the rest of the family at this point so they don’t feel embarrassed.
Once they can see and feel that you’re genuinely interested in what they want and that you value their opinion they quickly become easy to work with.
Questions are the answer
One of my techniques for getting natural expressions and family interaction is to ask questions. For example, I might ask a child “who’s the cleverest, mummy or daddy?” It’s guaranteed to get natural laughs and smiles and retaliatory tickles! I have lots of questions like this that I use to keep the banter going throughout the family photoshoot.
The fidget!
Children who love rampaging around are great but sometimes you just need them to stop for a second for some more peaceful photographs. The trick here is to get them trapped! Sometimes I suggest they climb a tree, or we put them on dad’s shoulders. I also have a rope swing that can connect to any overhanging branch. As I mentioned above I also ask them lots of fun questions to get their attention and eye contact.
Slapstick
I’ve already mentioned how one of my most effective techniques for getting a child to laugh and smile is to pretend to fall over or bash my head on an overhanging tree branch etc. It’s painfully effective!
I also have a very rubbery, weird looking face which was bad for getting dates when I was a younger, but great for silly faces for making 90% of children laugh.
Interaction and activities
Another technique is where I give the child or family something to do so they can forget about the camera for a bit. This can include:
Parents throwing the children in the air
Climbing trees
Walking through the woods - perhaps a child on dad’s shoulder, or being swung between mum and dad.
Throwing leaves in my face or in the air.
Playing with the dog
Running races
Sword fighting with sticks
Plan ahead
I always have a planning meeting with every family when they book me. I ask the parents about their children’s personalities and hobbies and likes and dislikes. I also ask the parents about the kind of photographs they want and how they like to spend time as a family. The more prepared I am the more smoothly the photoshoot will be.
Reassure the parents
In the planning meeting I let the parents know they don’t have to feel responsible for their children’s behaviour. I don’t want parents to feel awkward or disappointed if their children aren’t ‘performing angels’ immediately. It’s my job to get the best out of them and entertain them. On my website homepage it says ‘No child is too shy or too bonkers - I will not be defeated!’. It’s only a matter of time before I get the photographs as long as the parents go with the flow.
So there are a few of my favourite ideas for ensuring happy, natural family photographs. If you’d like to see even more ideas then check out https://www.clickinmoms.com/blog/photograph-uncooperative-kids/
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